Infidelity...Children...Marriage.

Learn that their partner was unfaithful, it is disappointing and ends up finishing the confidence he had for many years, but this may be worse when a child with this betrayal extramarital left. Most likely will ask: 'Why did this happen to me, I've been a husband (a) copy?', 'Why pay me that way all the unconditional love I gave you?', 'Why happen these things, after all this time of marriage? '. You may not have any answers, find no explanation and, most difficult, can do nothing to change that. Infidelity has already occurred, can not turn back time; be brave, confronts that time, not let that frighten and change what you are, those qualities and characteristics that make it unique. It is true that going through a crisis that brand is not full of grudges and sadness. It is necessary to live the process, grief, put in the balance the pros and cons of their relationship; if you chose to forgive, if you want to save your home, and continue to exceed this episode, their relationship may be transformed and henceforth stronger and more solid. To consider ... According to psychologist specializing in Couples Therapy Rosalba Urrutia, a couple faced with this situation should: - The man who has a child outside marriage must confess to your partner. - To carry out DNA testing to be sure that the child is his son. - Should assume a moral and economic responsibility to the child out of wedlock. - Seek professional help to overcome the process of betrayal. - Women must keep quiet, seek therapies to help you overcome that moment, but it should not become the cloth tears from her partner. - The wife should not try to become the mother of that child product of infidelity, either approach the child in order to have control of the situation. - Telling the illegitimate son with the truth, who knows the real situation. - After accepting the existence of the child, the parent should encourage, with moderation, a rapprochement between the brothers. - The parent should tell their children of the existence of illegitimate son. Before this time, you should analyze what stage the child is, if infant or adolescent; if there is a relationship between father-son attachment too. It should be performed support and professional advice to avoid psychological effects. - When children are adults, they are more cautious to accept this new brother, cousin interest so it will receive from inheritance, but should seek a rapprochement and reconciliation. He decided to forgive infidelity and move on, but obviously you have to work hard to overcome not only betrayal but also the arrival of the new child. Rosalba Urrutia and Luz Elena De la Rosa Puello, Couples Therapy specialists psychologists give some guidelines to overcome infidelity and achieve stronger as a partner: It must be repentance by the failed and if the other person is ready to continue, you must create commitments. -Exponer Expectations of each party, place orders or requests according to present her emotional needs and his. - Identify strengths, qualities and strengths as well as weaknesses or flaws that could negatively affect the perception of each. Analyze if there emotional distance or remoteness, lack of communication, monotony, sexual dissatisfaction and other things that they can identify. -Establish A trial period agreed by it while composing grief and acceptance, being aware that the relationship will go to another stage of greater maturity, less idealization and conditionally. - Accept the couple assume the economic and moral responsibility for the child. An illegitimate child has the same value as a legitimate child and should be treated equally. It's important that the couple has decided to give a new opportunity to establish what kind of relationship it will have with the child's mother. "You can not deny the right" Luz Elena De la Rosa Puello Psychologist Individual and Couples Therapy What to do when the result of partner infidelity extramarital son is? The illegitimate son triggers insecurity of married women. The emotional damage husband's infidelity can be expressed through depression and lead to a grieving process that includes anxiety, disgust, guilt, shame, fears and cognitive reformulation about the relationship. Despite this reality, the child out of wedlock can not be denied the right to their own identity, to know who their parent and recognition of affiliation. What limits set to the couple? The wife is aware that infidelity occurred unilateral breach of a covenant of exclusivity that existed between them, bringing on a third party with some aspects of relational dynamics are shared. To set the limits, you must implement an assertive and deep communication about the generalities of the problem and be emphatic as to what behaviors does not allow him hereinafter be explicit and decisive about the consequences of their actions will lead onwards. Can you overcome this episode of the relationship? How? Restructuring couple dynamics involves exposing the expectations of each party, place orders or requests by the emotional needs to present it and also his, to highlight complaints and inconformismos that were generated from the time, identify strengths, qualities and strengths as well as weaknesses or flaws that could negatively affect the perception of each, identify if there emotional distance or remoteness, lack of communication, monotony, sexual dissatisfaction and other aspects that can identify each other. From the consensus and the implementation of the new elements a trial period agreed by it can be established while composing grief and acceptance, being aware that the relationship will go to another stage of greater maturity, less idealization and conditionally . The voice of the expert Rosalba Urrutia psychologist specializing in Couples Therapy "Keep in mind that when the couple marries, makes a commitment of responsibility and loyalty. The man who is cheating makes a setback in his life, who has a lover and that relationship remains a child, it is a blunder, it is a double betrayal of your partner, "he argues. The precise expert that many of the cases that come to his office are that the husband has kept from his partner for many years the existence of that child, "when it states that the child actually is he must assume responsibility, all levels and assuming even legal implications. " Furthermore, he believes that "immediately become aware of the existence of the child, you must confess to your husband or wife; many prefer to hide her partner and lover begins to blackmail him permanently and end up taking advantage of the situation. " According to the specialist, this situation creates great disappointment, the reaction is unpredictable and should accompany this process with the help of a professional. Also explains that in his marital therapy always advised couples to fight for their home, "it should be understood that a marriage should not end at any time so there is a child outside marriage, there are aspects to consider before making that decision ".

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