Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Why Do We Quit "Cold Turkey"?

Explaining A Common Phrase That Makes No Sense
Ever quit something cold turkey and wonder why you've quit it in such a manner? On the serious side, the phrase is often used when the quitting brings physical symptoms of withdrawal, as with heroin or other highly addictive drugs. However, it can also be used more lightheartedly, as in this recent Business Insider headline: "I was addicted to dating apps, so I quit cold turkey." But where the heck did it come from?
The expression first appeared in the Daily Colonist in British Columbia in 1921: "Perhaps the most pitiful figures who have appeared before Dr. Carleton Simon ... are those who voluntarily surrender themselves. When they go before him, that are given what is called the 'cold turkey' treatment."
But why turkey, and why cold? The most popular theory was repeated by theSan Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen in 1978: "It derives from the hideous combination of goose pimples and what William Burroughs calls 'the cold burn' that addicts suffer as they kick the habit." In Cop Speak: The Lingo of Law Enforcement and Crime, Tom Philbin recites a second theory, that "the term may derive from the cold, clammy feel of the skin during withdrawal, like a turkey that has been refrigerated."
The problem with both of these theories is that they ignore the uses of cold turkey before its application to drug addiction. In a cartoon that appeared in newspapers on November 12, 1920, ace slangman Thomas "TAD" Dorgan used cold turkey this way – "Now tell me on the square – can I get by with this for the wedding – don't string me – tell me cold turkey." The editors of the Historical Dictionary of American Slang have found an earlier use: a 1910 usage where the speaker lost $5,000 cold turkey, in the sense of losing it outright.
It may be that the original cold turkey was a combination of cold("straightforward, matter-of-fact") and the earlier talk turkey, which dates back to the early 1800s and refers to speaking plainly. Regardless of its ultimate origins, the phrase manages to vividly capture the initial dread and discomfort that comes from immediately quitting something that's addictive, from drugs to dating apps.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

DOCTOR ZIMBARDO QUOTES ABOUT SHYNESS.-


The level of shyness has gone up dramatically in the last decade. I think shyness is an index of social pathology rather than a pathology of the individual.
Shyness is a psychological reaction that a surprisingly large number of people experience when they imagine others are evaluating them—and they assume the worst. At the core of shyness is a fear of being rejected, not being worthy of being liked or loved. 
SHYNESS: My interest in the social and personal dynamics of shyness in adults (and later in children) emerged curiously from reflections on the Stanford Prison Experiment, when considering the mentality of the Guard (restricting freedoms) and Prisoner (resisting, but ultimately accepting those restrictions on personal freedom) as dualities in each of us, and notably in the neurotic person and the shy individual. Since 1972, our research team, composed mostly of Stanford undergraduates, and graduates, Paul Pilkonis and Susan Brodt, has done pioneering research on the causes, correlates, and consequences of shyness in adults and children, using a multi-method, multi-response approach. Our findings of the extent of shyness and its many negative consequences led us to experiment with a shyness clinic where we tested various interventions among students and staff at Stanford University and then in the local community. Now our shyness clinic is housed in the clinic setting of the Pacific Graduate School of Psychology in Palo Alto, where it is both a treatment and research center.

SOURCES:
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/philip_zimbardo.html
http://www.zimbardo.com/
https://zimbardo.socialpsychology.org/teaching
https://zimbardo.socialpsychology.org/

Procrastination Tips & Strategies – a compilation

Anti-Procrastination Strategies from “The Procrastinator’s Digest: a concise
guide to solving the procrastination puzzle” by Timothy Pychyl   

THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS CONSIDERED VERY VERY IMPORTANT ! ESPECIALLY FOR THE STUDENTS(ME INCLUDED) THAT HAVE SPEND A VERY LONG AND PRECIOUS TIME IN THE CAREER OF LANGUAGES. AS ADULTS WE HAVE TAKEN DESICIONS AS DROPPING OUT A SUBJECT BEFORE OR AFTER THE FIRST PARTIAL,TAKEN THE SUMMER CLASSES OFF,ETC. AS TIME PASS BY,WE DO NOT FEEL THE SAME MOTIVATION,GET BORED EASILY,ETC. I HOPE THIS INFORMATION GIVE US THE MOTIVATION TO KEEP THE FAITH AND GET INTO THE TRACK AGAIN !! GOOD LUCK, GUYS !!
                                                 
1. Awareness. Notice when you procrastinate. Procrastination is the voluntary
delay of an intended task. Notice when you have an intention and don’t follow
it through. Notice and record what your thoughts and feelings were about the
task, and the excuses (permission-giving thoughts) you have about putting the
task off. Awareness is the first step towards change.
2. Identify the costs of procrastinating. List all the costs of procrastination –
what it has you do and not do which are to your detriment, disadvantage; what
is has you thinking and feeling about yourself, life, your future etc. Also list
the benefits of acting in a timely fashion. Making change takes effort. Clearly
identifying the costs of procrastination and benefits of change can help you to
maintain your motivation as you make these changes.
3. Procrastination is a form of self-regulation failure. We ‘give in to feel good’.
We put off doing a task that feels aversive / we don’t want to do, to avoid the
negative feelings associated with that task (notice the feelings you listed in 1.
above). We trade in temporary relief for longer term problems. “Don’t give
in to feel good; step on up to what you should” Think: ‘If I feel negative
emotions about the task at hand, Then I will stay put and not stop, put off the
task or run away.” Another helpful mantra can be “Feel the xxx (negative
emotion) xxx and do it anyway”. Using a mindfulness strategy to
acknowledge the emotions that have you wanting to put the task off, and then
moving your attention to something that will help you feel motivated can be
helpful. Pychyl suggests actively accessing another more positive resource
state from your ‘inner landscape’ eg curiosity, desire to succeed etc, rather
than get stuck in the negative emotion/s associated with the task.
4. Recognise that although your mind may tell you that you will feel more like
doing it ‘tomorrow’ (more motivated, more energetic, more in the mood,
whatever), you won’t. You don’t need to ‘really feel like it’ to get on with the
task. Learn to be suspicious of your mind when it feeds you the message that
you will feel more like it tomorrow. Don’t listen to this message, and instead
“Just get started”. You may have to “just get started” many times a day on
the same task – just take one small next step. Once you get started, you have
primed the pump and will find it is a bit easier to keep going.
5. Generally speaking people who say they ‘work best under pressure’ mean that
the only time they can overcome procrastination is under pressure. This does
not necessarily mean they “work better under pressure”. (See no. 7 below).
Be aware that although people often believe this is because they are ‘adrenalin
junkies’ or ‘thrill seekers’, research shows that this is a myth for the majority
of people who procrastinate.
6. Beware the ‘feel good’ of ‘good intentions’. If you give in to procrastination
by saying to yourself ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’, you will experience the immediate
relief of not having to do the task now, plus the positive feelings that go with
creating positive goals – we imagine ourselves into tomorrow feeling great and
getting on with the task effortlessly (when we are doing this kind of thinking,
the picture of the future is generally ungrounded, undetailed, not taking into
account the nitty gritty realities of the situation, and over-optimisitic).
7. Research shows that we tend to over-estimate the difficulty and
unpleasantness of tasks. Research also shows that getting started on a task
changes our perception of it, and can also change our perception of ourselves
(we feel more in control, more optimistic). Once we start a task it is rarely as
bad as we think. And generally, if we’ve put it off to the last minute, once we
start it and find it more interesting than we thought, we wish we’d started
earlier so that we could have done a better job of it. So “Just get started”.
Progress on our goals makes us feel happier and more satisfied with life and
with ourselves. These positive emotions help us to make further progress on
our goals – a positive cycle begins. So ‘just getting started’ helps to prime the
pump towards us feeling more motivated and energised and ‘in the mood’.
8. Identify you own set of ‘most commonly used’ excuses and self-deceptions.
Make a list of them. Get practiced at spotting them. And form a clear
‘implementation intention’ (see no. 9 below) in relation to your excuses.
9. Make use of well-formed ‘implementation intentions’. An implementation
intention is what moves a ‘goal intention’ into action. An effective format for
an implementation intention is “if…. Then….’. That is, we get very clear
about what (very specifically) we will do when a particular situation occurs
(eg an unhelpful thought, distraction etc). We make a ‘predecision’ about how
we will deal with possible challenges.
Eg “If my mind tells me ‘I’ll feel more like doing it tomorrow’ then I will
just get started on some small aspect of the task anyway (ie ‘just get started).
10. Think about your goals in very concrete, specific ways. Thinking abstractly
about our goals leads us to believe that they are not that urgent. The more
concrete your thoughts and plans, the more easily they will lead to timely
action. Break your tasks down into smaller steps. Make a list of the
subtasks involved in a bigger task, mark order of priority. Do one step at a
time.
11. Beware! The feel-good feelings when you ‘just get started’ can lull you into
more easily giving in to distractions. The ‘feel-good’ can make us overly
optimistic about how much work remains and how quickly we can do it, how
much we have done compared to the task as a whole etc. We can also kid
ourselves into believing that we need the reward of the distraction, for having
got started. Arm yourself against this.
12. You need to remain vigilant to procrastination thoughts and feelings even once
you have got started. It can be easy to avoid the feelings of discomfort that
come with feeling stuck, finding there is something we don’t understand or
don’t know how to do etc by giving in to a distraction. “We have to be
prepared for changes in our mood related to setbacks and disappointments.
We have to be prepared to deal with distractions. We have to be prepared to
overcome obstacles. For each potential distraction, obstacle or setback either
a) Identify how you can remove it / shut yourself off from it eg turn of your
phone, shut down your email programme etc before you start work. Or B)
Form an implementation intention for the distraction eg “If any friends invite
me out this weekend Then I will immediately say ‘thanks, but no – I’m
committed to finishing my work’”. Research shows that participants who
formed temptation-inhibiting implementation intentions outperformed the
groups who did not – and this effect was independent of the participants’
motivation to achieve their goal and to ignore distractions.
13. Will power is a limited resource! The more we have already had to exercise
self-regulatory strength, the less well we maintain that strength in a new task.
But this effect is eliminated if it is for a task we feel highly motivated to do (ie
it has a higher level of interest to us and so we feel more energised to do it).
But successful goal pursuit depends on us moving past these momentary
feelings or perceptions of ‘depletion’. We need to be able to transcend the
feelings of the moment in order to focus on the overall goals and values.
What helps us muster or restore our willpower or self-regulatory strength? a)
Willpower is like a muscle – the more we exercise it, the stronger it gets. b)
Sleep and rest help – are you getting enough sleep? c) Self-regulation is harder
later in the day when we are more tired so be strategic about when you do the
tasks that are more difficult for you to stick to. d) A boost of positive emotion
helps boost willpower. Find things you can do to replenish your strength –
without being a distraction from your task! e) Use implementation intentions
(If…Then) to trigger you into action, even when you don’t ‘feel like it’. f)
Self-regulation appears to depend on available blood glucose. Avoid getting
hypoglycaemic as your self-regulation will suffer. Keep a piece of fruit
(complex carbohydrate) handy to restore your blood glucose level. g) Be
aware that social situations may require more self-regulation effort than you
think. The effort you put into behaving appropriately in social situations can
deplete your self-regulatory strength and have you more likely to give in to
something other than your ‘task at hand’. h) Our motivation has a significant
effect on our self-regulatory strength so being clear about our goals and values
and finding ways to keep these very ‘alive’ to us can help us not to give in to
‘feel good’ temptations that take us away from our ‘task at hand’.
14. If you are an impulsive person, the implementation intention “If an alternative
intention arises such as an invitation to go out, Then I will say that I will make
my decision in 10 minutes” can help. Building in a delay can have you avoid
impulsive decisions or actions. It is also important to pre-plan re shutting out
or making ‘pre-decisions’ re distractions.
15. If you are a disorganised person, deliberately structuring tasks and sub-tasks
will be important. Also de-cluttering your work area may be important – but
beware that you don’t use ‘tidying up’ as yet another form of procrastination.
16. If you are a person who is prone to worry, self-consciousness, fear of failure,
perfectionism etc it is important to challenge your worries and beliefs as they
arise – you may want to get some help with this from a counsellor, self-help
book etc.
17. If you are a person whose moods fluctuate a lot, and what you do is overly
influenced by how you feel, you may want to get some help in skills related to
emotion regulation and distress tolerance, either from a counsellor or a selfhelp
book.
18. Cyberslacking on the procrastination superhighway (chapter 10). One
research project 10 years ago found that 47% of the time people spend online
is spent procrastinating – and it may well be more than that now.
19. Beware of ‘justs’ – I’ll ‘just’ check my facebook, I’ll just check my emails
(and also non-cyber ‘justs’ eg I’ll ‘just’ go to the café for a coffee. Beware of
‘it’ll only take a minute’.
20. Beware of the temptations of social networking sites (in terms of losing time
when you had intended to get something else done). We are social beings, so
these sites are rewarding. And the reward is immediate. Rewarding and
Immediate. This is a potentially addictive combination. It also provides a
ready distraction, and this can be a problem for people who are impulsive.
21. Beware of the myth of multi-tasking – research indicates that only a very
small percentage of people can effectively multi-task. So don’t kid yourself!
Strategies for dealing with ‘cyber’ distractions are the same as above – shut
yourself off from the temptations that you can (close your email programme,
turn off your phone). And have an ‘implementation goal’ formulated re
feelings of temptation regarding ‘just’ checking your email/facebook/phone eg
“If I have the temptation to, or thought to ‘just check’, Then I will stay put and
keep working on my task at hand.” Do not ‘give in to feel good’.
22. There are no “quick fixes’. Procrastination is a habit that requires hard work
to break. Ongoing conscious effort and vigilance is required. Be strategic in
your change effort – pick one or two things to work on at once rather than try
to change everything. Accept that it may well involve one step forward and
two steps back. Be kind but firm with yourself when you have a setback.
Research has shown that self-forgiveness in relation to procrastination is
related to less procrastination in the future. Forgive yourself and start back
into work again. Start, and re-start.
Ideas from Clarry Lay “Some Basic Elements in Counselling Procrastinators”.
From ‘Counseling the procrastinator in academic settings’ edited by Henri C.
Schouwenburg et al. Washington, DC : American Psychological Association, c2004
General Thesis
“Nothing beats the timely pursuit of one’s intentions. It is the measure of success
in life.”
Orientations Toward Change
1. You must spend more time working on the tasks that are most important.
2. You must spend less time on less important tasks.
3. Once you have formed intentions regarding some task, you have an obligation
and responsibility (primarily to yourself) to act on them.
4. The ultimate payoff for change is that you will feel better about yourself.
Operations Toward Change
1. You must spend more time in the right place/s (a place with fewer distractions;
the right place ‘primes’ you to work, prompts your intentions etc p.54).
2. Form highly detailed intentions regarding each task that specify day, time,
place, and for how long.
3. Write down the details of your intentions and refer to them often on a regular
basis.
Reminders
1. Your intentions should override how you feel at the moment.
2. Procrastinators tend to overestimate the degree of unpleasantness of a task.
3. Work on your task at any level, and think of the task at the simplest level when
necessary. Ask yourself “What do I have to do for the next hour? I have to
turn pages and read words on the page” as opposed to “I have to complete my
degree, get top grades, please my parents, and get a job.” – bring it to practical
‘up close’ small chunk steps.
4. Focus on one task at a time.
Other Helpful Ideas
Building Rituals
In “The Power of Full Engagement” the authors Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz write
about establishing ‘rituals’ to establish new habits. “But just as negative habits and
routines in our lives can be undermining and destructive, so positive ones can be
uplifting and revitalising… Building rituals requires defining very precise behaviours
and performing them at very specific times – motivated by deeply held values. As
Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do.” Or as the Dalai Lama put it more
recently: “There isn’t anything that isn’t made easier through constant familiarity and
training. Through training we can change; we can transform ourselves.”
Urge Surfing
It is important to be aware that unhelpful feelings will pass, and that we don’t need to
give in to these feelings by procrastinating. Being more ‘mindful’ of your thoughts
and feelings will be important in the fight against procrastination. Learning the
Mindfulness technique of ‘Urge Surfing’ is likely to be really helpful. See Chapter 15

in ‘The Happiness Trap’ by Russ Harris, for more about this.

SOURCE: (http://http-server.carleton.ca/~tpychyl/)

CULT LEADERS.- HOW DO WE KNOW WHEN A CULT LEADER IS "EVIL" OR "BAD".


There are people out there who are cult leaders and who do great harm to others emotionally,psychologically,spiritually,physically,or financially. They dress like sheeps but must of the time,there is a wolf undercovered.

Cult leaders like: Jim Jones(The Peoples Temple),Shoko Asahara(Aum Shrinkyo),Joseph Di Mambro and Luc Jouret(The Solar Temple),Marshall Applewhite(Heaven's Gate),David Koresh(Davidian Branch), and many more, have been subject of studies,their personal life, their teachings, and their behaviors.
What stands out about these individuals is that they were all pathologically narcissistic, they all believed that they were specials, that only they had the answers to problems,they also demanded perfect loyalty from followers,they overvalued themselves and devalued those around them,they were intolerant of criticism and above all the did not like being questioned or challenged. 

These and other characteristics are tipical traits of the pathological cult leader that you should watch for and which shout caution, get away, run, or avoid if possible:

01. Demands blind unquestioned obedience.
02. Requieres excessive admiration from followers and outsiders.
03. Is exploitative of others by asking for money or that of relatives putting at  financial risk.
04. Takes sexual advantage of members of his sect ot cult.
05. Make members confess their sins or faults in public, humiliating while revealing weakness.
06. Needs to be the center of attention,using overdramatic speech,and theatrical acts.
07. Has insisted in always having the best of anything(house,car,jewlry,clothes.etc).
08. Anyone who criticizes or questions him is called an "enemy".
09. Believes himself to be omnipotent.
10. Is superficially charming.
11. Treat others with contempt and arrogance.
12. Tries to control others in what they do, read, view, or think.
13. Monitors and restricts contact with family or outsiders.
14. Work the least but demands the most.
15. Has stated that he is "destined for greatness" or that he will be "martyred".
16. Has isolated the group physically(moved to a remote area) so as to not be observed.

When a cult or organizational leader has a preponderance of these traits then we can anticipate that at some point those who associate with him likely suffer physically,emotionally, psychologically, or financially, or finish being as pathologically sick,brainswashed, and willing to do whatever is their wish.

SOURCE: www.jnforensics.com.  JOE NAVARRO,IS A 25 YEAR VETERAN OF THE FBI AND AUTHOR OF "WHAT EVERY BODY IS SAYING", AS WELL AS "DANGEROUS PERSONALITIES".