Infidelity...Children...Marriage.

Learn that their partner was unfaithful, it is disappointing and ends up finishing the confidence he had for many years, but this may be worse when a child with this betrayal extramarital left. Most likely will ask: 'Why did this happen to me, I've been a husband (a) copy?', 'Why pay me that way all the unconditional love I gave you?', 'Why happen these things, after all this time of marriage? '. You may not have any answers, find no explanation and, most difficult, can do nothing to change that. Infidelity has already occurred, can not turn back time; be brave, confronts that time, not let that frighten and change what you are, those qualities and characteristics that make it unique. It is true that going through a crisis that brand is not full of grudges and sadness. It is necessary to live the process, grief, put in the balance the pros and cons of their relationship; if you chose to forgive, if you want to save your home, and continue to exceed this episode, their relationship may be transformed and henceforth stronger and more solid. To consider ... According to psychologist specializing in Couples Therapy Rosalba Urrutia, a couple faced with this situation should: - The man who has a child outside marriage must confess to your partner. - To carry out DNA testing to be sure that the child is his son. - Should assume a moral and economic responsibility to the child out of wedlock. - Seek professional help to overcome the process of betrayal. - Women must keep quiet, seek therapies to help you overcome that moment, but it should not become the cloth tears from her partner. - The wife should not try to become the mother of that child product of infidelity, either approach the child in order to have control of the situation. - Telling the illegitimate son with the truth, who knows the real situation. - After accepting the existence of the child, the parent should encourage, with moderation, a rapprochement between the brothers. - The parent should tell their children of the existence of illegitimate son. Before this time, you should analyze what stage the child is, if infant or adolescent; if there is a relationship between father-son attachment too. It should be performed support and professional advice to avoid psychological effects. - When children are adults, they are more cautious to accept this new brother, cousin interest so it will receive from inheritance, but should seek a rapprochement and reconciliation. He decided to forgive infidelity and move on, but obviously you have to work hard to overcome not only betrayal but also the arrival of the new child. Rosalba Urrutia and Luz Elena De la Rosa Puello, Couples Therapy specialists psychologists give some guidelines to overcome infidelity and achieve stronger as a partner: It must be repentance by the failed and if the other person is ready to continue, you must create commitments. -Exponer Expectations of each party, place orders or requests according to present her emotional needs and his. - Identify strengths, qualities and strengths as well as weaknesses or flaws that could negatively affect the perception of each. Analyze if there emotional distance or remoteness, lack of communication, monotony, sexual dissatisfaction and other things that they can identify. -Establish A trial period agreed by it while composing grief and acceptance, being aware that the relationship will go to another stage of greater maturity, less idealization and conditionally. - Accept the couple assume the economic and moral responsibility for the child. An illegitimate child has the same value as a legitimate child and should be treated equally. It's important that the couple has decided to give a new opportunity to establish what kind of relationship it will have with the child's mother. "You can not deny the right" Luz Elena De la Rosa Puello Psychologist Individual and Couples Therapy What to do when the result of partner infidelity extramarital son is? The illegitimate son triggers insecurity of married women. The emotional damage husband's infidelity can be expressed through depression and lead to a grieving process that includes anxiety, disgust, guilt, shame, fears and cognitive reformulation about the relationship. Despite this reality, the child out of wedlock can not be denied the right to their own identity, to know who their parent and recognition of affiliation. What limits set to the couple? The wife is aware that infidelity occurred unilateral breach of a covenant of exclusivity that existed between them, bringing on a third party with some aspects of relational dynamics are shared. To set the limits, you must implement an assertive and deep communication about the generalities of the problem and be emphatic as to what behaviors does not allow him hereinafter be explicit and decisive about the consequences of their actions will lead onwards. Can you overcome this episode of the relationship? How? Restructuring couple dynamics involves exposing the expectations of each party, place orders or requests by the emotional needs to present it and also his, to highlight complaints and inconformismos that were generated from the time, identify strengths, qualities and strengths as well as weaknesses or flaws that could negatively affect the perception of each, identify if there emotional distance or remoteness, lack of communication, monotony, sexual dissatisfaction and other aspects that can identify each other. From the consensus and the implementation of the new elements a trial period agreed by it can be established while composing grief and acceptance, being aware that the relationship will go to another stage of greater maturity, less idealization and conditionally . The voice of the expert Rosalba Urrutia psychologist specializing in Couples Therapy "Keep in mind that when the couple marries, makes a commitment of responsibility and loyalty. The man who is cheating makes a setback in his life, who has a lover and that relationship remains a child, it is a blunder, it is a double betrayal of your partner, "he argues. The precise expert that many of the cases that come to his office are that the husband has kept from his partner for many years the existence of that child, "when it states that the child actually is he must assume responsibility, all levels and assuming even legal implications. " Furthermore, he believes that "immediately become aware of the existence of the child, you must confess to your husband or wife; many prefer to hide her partner and lover begins to blackmail him permanently and end up taking advantage of the situation. " According to the specialist, this situation creates great disappointment, the reaction is unpredictable and should accompany this process with the help of a professional. Also explains that in his marital therapy always advised couples to fight for their home, "it should be understood that a marriage should not end at any time so there is a child outside marriage, there are aspects to consider before making that decision ".

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  People get upset when an unknown person come into the class, but what we really have to think is that the real problem is in our society. I say that because the problem is not about who goes into the class or not, is more than that, is to find out, why or how it happens, it has many answers. One of them could be that the person who is in charge of knowing who arrives into the classroom is stealing money to the goverment because that person is not doing her or his job, that means that that person just think about money.

It is incredible what happens here! People want money but they don't want to work.

Security at the university

The security at the university

The other day we had this particular case in which a vagrant has entered our class room asking for money, we all have a big concern that the students, professor and university staff are not protected from any people who may access the classrooms.

Any people who wants to enter the university area they might do it without being identify by the authority in the place, students should be in risk as well as the professor and other staff, protecting our life have become part of our own work and we should be careful with who we talk and who we give information that could turn into a tragedy because we might be putting ourselves in danger by doing this.

I think that authorities on charge of everyone safety inside the campus should do something about it and not just wait until something bad happens.

A Phantom appears in our class

Good evening, Yesterday, In our English class at 107 classroom a simple man appeared. He were dust, red-eyed and he couldn't articulate his words. He was asking about money. The excuse was that he had to took his bus to go to La Caleta. My intention isn't to be dramatic but I was freezed. It was the first time that I saw a person gotting into a classroom, a person who interrupted a class and asked for money with a stupid argument. I think uasd should be a safety place. As a Uads's student I really feel unsafe. The claims that we are demanding has to include a budget to put on safe or university. thanks for read.

Example of some gestures and body language

Body Language Examples People often use body language (kinesics) as a physical, nonverbal form of communication to convey some feeling or intention. Common body language examples include postures, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements, which give away some clues to how you may really feel. Here are some body language meanings which can help you understand what other people are conveying. Body Language Examples and Their Meaning 1.Arms crossed in front of the chest This is one of the body language examples that indicate that one is being defensive. The body language meaning of crossed arms may also show disagreement with opinions and actions of other people with whom you are communicating. 2-Biting of nails Nail biting demonstrates nervousness, stress, or insecurity. Many people bite nails without realizing they have the habit. 3 Hand on cheek This body language example indicates that one is lost in thought, maybe considering something. When your hand is on your cheek and your brows are furrowed you may be in deep concentration. 4 Finger tapping or drumming This action demonstrates that one is growing tired or impatient while waiting. 5 Touching the nose Touching or rubbing the nose signifies disbelief, rejection, or lying about something. 6 Brisk rubbing of the hands This may show that the hands are cold, which may mean that one is excited about something, or waiting eagerly. 7 Placing finger tips together This is called "steepling," or placing fingertips together to demonstrate control or authority. This is one of the body language examples that bosses and other authority figures use to show that they are in control. 8 Open palms, facing upward This gesture is a sign of honesty, sincerity, submission, and innocence. This is how some people show submission and respect during church worship. 9 Head in hands The body language meaning of this gesture may be that of boredom, being upset, or being ashamed, so one does not want to show their face. 10 Locking of ankles Whether you are sitting or standing, when your ankles are locked, you are communicating apprehension or nervousness. 11 Stroking the chin or beard This communicates that one is in deep thought. This action is often done unintentionally when one is trying to come up with some decision. 12 Ear pulling Pulling an ear lobe can mean one is trying to make a decision, but remains indecisive about something. 13 Head nodding This gesture usually signifies agreement or bowing, a submissive gesture that shows one is going along with another person's opinions. 14 Lint picking Picking of imaginary lint is another one of the body language examples of displacement gestures, which one uses to show disapproval of the attitudes or opinions of other. This action makes one look away from the other person while doing some irrelevant action. 15 Catapult posture This seated version of the “Hands-on-Hip” male posture with the hands behind the head and elbows pointed out is used to intimidate or show a relaxed attitude, thus giving a false sense of security before an ambush is made. 16 Lowered head This indicates one is hiding something. When you lower your head while you are being complimented, you may be showing shyness, shame, or timidity. It may also convey that you are keeping distance from another person, showing disbelief, or thinking to yourself. 17 More body language examples Here are some more body language examples and their meanings: Standing straight, with shoulders back – this posture shows that one is feeling confident and it is often accompanied by walking with brisk strides. One-sided head tilt – tilting the head suggests that one is listening with interest in what others are saying. Looking down, away from the body – this may indicate guilt or shame. To validate this feeling, revert back to the discussion and see if the body language meaning is the same. Standing, hands on hips – can mean readiness or aggression Shifting of weight or foot movement – suggests that one is impatient, nervous, excited, scared, or even intimidated. Sitting, legs crossed, slight kicking of foot - can mean boredom Sitting, with legs apart – a relaxed posture Walking, hands in pocket, hunched shoulders – can mean dejection Eye rubbing – can mean doubt or disbelief Hands clasped behind back – can mean frustration, anger, or apprehension Pinching the nose bridge, eyes closed – shows negative evaluation Patting or fondling hair – shows insecurity or lack of self-confidence Quick tilting of head – shows interest Prolonged tilting of head – shows boredom

The stranger who came into the classroom!

Last night, while the professor was sharing an important information with us about grammar and some vocabulary, a strange person came into the classroom, interrupting and  causing astonishment and frightening some students who were expecting maybe some violent movement due to the way how he stopped the class & the way how he was dressed at that time in a place of study ( or at least that is what is supposed to be ).

For nobody was a secret that the stranger was carrying some sort of weapon in his hand, which some of us thought he will use in any time, nevertheless wasn't until the moment when the teacher decided to ask him what did he want, when the stranger talked telling that he was there asking for money due to he didn't have enough to pay the bus and go back to "La Caleta" which he said was his township.

After those words, most of the students showed a gesture of generosity and help, giving some coins of 5, 10 and 25 pesos. Then, the stranger decided to leave immediately he had collected the money from the teacher and some students & after that event the English class of last night was not the same.

Author: Kender Diaz Monter

#100010519

When  we say lies we feel uncomfortables oursselves. and not many people believe in them., some people prefer taking advantages of using lies to get what they want..Been honest is an open door of respect.